New assistant
by LadyBardock
Summary: I've written this some time ago, but I just realised I didn't publish it ;) The last story in my last manic writing faze. M/M [KILIxFILI] rated for mature adult content. Kili is the new assistant to a very demanding and cold boss. HURT/Harassment/Mobbing. Please leave a review :)
1. Chapter 1

"What do you mean they are rethinking the contract?" Fili spoke nervously on the phone. He glanced out of the huge window in his office. "Whatever, get them to sign it or we're signing with Diken International. It's not like we don't have a choice." Fili noticed bitterly.

He sat back down and pulled his laptop closer and began writing.

"Would you like some coffee?" His new assistant proposed hesitantly.

"Have you finished rewriting those letters for Thorin?" Fili asked first.

"Yes, you have them on your desktop and I've also did the analysis you asked for." The assistant spoke confidently.

"Fine make some coffee and order some dinner for us, It's going to be a long working evening." Fili noticed grimly.

"What type of food?" The assistant asked curiously.

"Leaflets should be in your desk, right top drawer." Fili informed him and focused on work.

He glanced at his new assistant going back into the reception area of his office. He always had female secretaries before, but getting a male was his uncle's suggestion after the last problems. His previous assistant accused him of sexual harassment and it took a lot of time and trouble to prove he was innocent. So now he had a young student walking around doing things he asked him to. Somehow it did not make him feel comfortable because for him the boy's deep chocolate eyes and slim figure were much more tempting than any girl hired before. He should have told Thorin to get another Mrs. Frigholmm, she was old and mature with four grandchildren, and the last year she had been talking about retirement, and the last thing she dreamt about was molesting or harassing her boss. This was the fourth assistant she tried to train in the last half a year to take her place, so far two girls were idiots, the third a sex fiend trying to molest her boss, and the fourth was a boy. Fili had no idea what was worse, being molested by his last assistant or being turned on by his new assistant. He pulled out the file on the boy yet again to take a look at the information there. Killian Oakenshield 22, third year college student of Business Administration studying extramurally and working full time. The boy lived in a good part of town, he was always dressed properly and so far he did his duties more than well. Fili liked his wavy hair, slightly too long but it made him seem energetic and confident. The boy was cute by any standard, and he already noticed all the women eyeing him lustfully at the office. Fili did not mind that even one bit at least he was finally getting fewer lustful glares.

When the boy returned with an aromatic black coffee Fili tasted it with pleasure. The boy made coffee even better than Mrs. Frigholmm. "I've ordered Chinese, the dishes marked in the leaflet, is there anything else you need at this time?" The boy asked looking uncertainly at his boss.

"Did you sent the report to R&D?" Fili asked emotionlessly.

"Yes, and I've already got a call confirming they received it." The boy informed him.

"Set up a meeting for tomorrow with Gloin, I need files on the new contract with Jim Helifax." Fili ordered and watched the boy go back to his desk to do his orders. Fili hated the glass wall between his secretaries office and his office. If he was going to keep this boy he'll need to rearrange the office and install some kind of panel, or vertical shades between the offices. He can't stand looking at the boy all day. Or maybe he should get that special glass Gimli told him about, where you can see trough one way. His mind went to thoughts of masturbating looking at the boy, and it disturbed him a lot. He wanted to stroke his erection so badly, but this was work. He had lots of work. This boy was growing to be a problem, his reaction to this person was going to be a huge problem. He needed a good lay, someone anonymous, someone slim with dark hair. He suddenly realized he hadn't felt such emotions for years, he was so focused on work, he never had time for relationships. During college it was easy to find flings, there were so many people interested in one time sex, so many parties you could go, so many clubs with many people looking for exactly the same things. He sometimes felt a stronger attraction towards someone, he usually gave in and later it would all pass. This reaction to this boy was beyond that. Fili wondered why he would feel such emotions now, maybe he was overworked, maybe he needed a holiday. Maybe he needed to find someone to fulfill these urges and needs. Maybe it was time to have a real relationship with someone. Not with those occasional models he would go out with, not with one of his girlfriends. A relation with a man, his greatest fear of coming out publicly would have to meet midway with his needs.

"Here are the files." The boy came in carrying three big folders with documents. "Dinner is served in your private room." The boy informed him. "The meeting with Gloin is set at 11:30."

The boy was standing there clearly waiting for a new order.

"Let's go and eat." Fili told him. "Make me some more coffee."

He got up and headed towards the room just next to his office. "Are you coming?" He asked the boy who was just standing there and not moving.

"Yes, of course." The boy replied. They went into the private suit just next to the office. It was a room Thorin arranged after he started practically living at the office. There were two doors, one to Fili's office and the other to Thorin's office. It was a mixture of a living room and a dining room. There were two comfortable sofas, two armchairs and a table with six chairs. Fili looked at several plates of appetizing food, he immediately sat down and began eating. This was his usually lifestyle, eating take away at the office. The boy hesitated a bit but finally took a chair and a plate and started eating as well. Fili watched him eat elegantly as if someone trained him how to eat according to most sophisticated table rules. He felt a new wave of desire overcome him. This boy was too much.


	2. Chapter 2

For Kili his new job was nerve-wracking. He was stuck everyday in the office with the most handsome man he had ever seen. His hair was like gold, and his eyes we an unusual shade of blue, a very vibrant colour but always cold towards him. The last four weeks were a living hell. He loved the job, he loved the challenge it posed to him, but his boss was a different story. He was cold and official, he was demanding. More demanding than any other person Kili had worked for in the past. He did not mind the long working hours. He did not mind getting first hand practice at things he was learning about, but he did mind the cold stiff atmosphere in the office. He was used to joking and laughing, he was used to working with Bilbo in his restaurant where it was all light mood every day. He felt a huge temptation to try to make this man's cold face show any other emotion. But he knew he needed this job. He loved Bilbo but working in the restaurant was just a mid stop in his life. This job would pay his collage bills and pay off the loan he got from Bilbo. This job would give him the most valuable job experience possible. Working in Erebor inc was like a mile stone in anyone's career, and his physical attraction to his boss could only ruin any possible career. He heard about the last secretary who tried to molest him, and that's why he was hired. A man instead of a woman. He didn't care, he was in the best office in the city and he would hold onto the job. Every day was like a new test, and eating dinner with him and staying late was yet another test. He wondered how long he would be kept at work, and what other boring tasks he would get. He would manage fine with them all in the morning, he never had a problem doing his tasks on time. Working here was challenging, but Kili had the IQ to back it up. He tried to focus on what was going on, on the eating and on the job. The job. He kept reminding himself. He promised himself to keep this job.

"I need to finish the report on Helifax, you may go home." His boss finally told him. Clearly he had no more ideas what task to give him.

"I can prepare the initial report." The boy offered.

"Fine. But if you do it wrong you're going to have to write it again." Fili told him trying not to show irritation the boy wanted to stay longer.

He went back into his office and gave the boy a part of the files. He sat back down onto his chair knowing there was no chance in hell he could focus on work again. He pretended to be reading the files, but he was observing the boy the whole time. He was trying hard, he had the folder in his lap and he was typing really fast. The boy looked so cute, when we was sitting like that clearly focused on what he was writing. Fili just wanted to stop thinking about him, he wanted this person out of his life or in his bed immediately. The out part was easier done that the other scenario. But the other scenario was so tempting. Thinking about the boy, looking at him focused and so cute, Fili was tempted to fulfill his desire to stroke himself. He was hoping the boy would go after dinner, then he would just go home and satisfy himself. Suddenly the boy stopped for a moment and clearly he was reading. Then he smiled widely, and made two or three corrections and transferred the file to his boss's computer. He got up and went to report to his boss. Fili briefly glanced at the file feeling surprised, it was very well written, but he couldn't fully focus. The boy was standing there at the doorway waiting for his reaction, and Fili regretted making that threat, now he had to immediately tell the boy his opinion. "I'll read it in the morning. You may go home." Fili told him. But the boy didn't move. Kili was transfixed with the first real emotion he saw in this man. He stood there like an idiot, not being able to move his eyes away from his boss's eyes. He saw tiredness, he saw irritation, he saw desire, but he also saw coldness at the same time. He suddenly felt out of place, he suddenly felt anxiety hit him hard. This was not something he was ready to deal with. He wanted a job without any complications, he could control his own emotions, he could keep his hands to himself. He wanted to pay his college fees and he wanted to pay back Bilbo. Kili desperately tried to focus on what was important to him.

Fili could see the play of emotions in the boy's eyes, a wide variety starting from the need for acceptance, curiosity, intellect and finally fear. Fili saw the conflict on the boy's face, as if he was tempted to stay longer, but pushed to run away at the same time.

"You'd better leave." He told the boy, feeling the need to get rid of him immediately. If he waited any longer he would be tempted to act on the urges he felt deep inside. Kili saw those blue eyes go darker and more serious. The insensitivity of that gaze made him shiver. Those words spoken so callously were a message Kili knew how to interpret. Either he left and never would be approached like this again, or he could stay. He could stay, and he could get what he really wanted risking losing his job at the same time. He breathed in deeply, and weighed his options. An affair with his boss no matter how delightful was a huge risk. But the shivers coming down his spine were telling him it was one chance in a lifetime. He never felt this kind of attraction ever before, and he had a feeling he would never feel this lust ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

Fili saw the conflict on the boys face, and he was wondering why he was still there. If he wanted to leave he could have rushed out already, but instead he was still there. Standing there silently and just glaring at him with those huge beautiful chocolate eyes. The hesitation was clearly visible in those orbs, but then he just seemed like he had made a decision. His eyes became dark and mysterious, and he slowly came closer. He stopped two feet away from the desk.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Fili heard confidence in the boy's voice.

"I believe there is." Fili gently moved his hands along his erection. The boy's eyes didn't move away, there was no fear there anymore. Only lust, Fili finally indentified the one emotion he could not name in his assistant's face. Before Fili could even name what he wanted the boy was already on the floor right in front of him. He could still remember the girl trying to take the same position barely two months ago, but this slim person filled him with emotions incomparable to anyone else. What the boy did next made the man shiver with desire. He felt his hands touch him, and when he closed his eyes he felt those soft pink lips take him into his mouth. When he felt the boy gently suck him, Fili could only gasp, his hand moved to the boy's hair and gently played with the soft tresses.

"Get up." He ordered the boy quietly. He saw the boy lick his lips, and he desperately wanted to kiss him. He pushed the boy to sit onto the desk and he stood in between his legs. He saw those brown eyes full of deep emotions, he could see the lust and the need. He hadn't see those emotions so clearly in a partner's face in a long time. It seemed this boy didn't do this for the money or the job, he was doing it because he wanted. Fili decisively tugged on his clothes and undressed them both. He wanted to kiss the boy so much, but that was crossing the line. Kissing was too intimate, it was out of the question. He pulled the boy closer and let him feel his erection, before pressing into him. He noticed the boy squirm a bit, but later he eased and gasped feeling the pleasure of being penetrated. He saw slight surprise in his eyes, and he suddenly realized this boy was inexperienced. He felt a stronger wave of desire flow over him, he plunged into the boy full strength and he could hear him gasp with pleasure. His hands holding onto him tightly, and his legs wide apart as he was fucking him on his own desk. He realized it was huge mistake fucking him there, that he would always see him in such a lustful position just by looking at the stupid desk. Damn he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to show how much he really wanted him. He never kissed his one night partners. But he wanted to kiss this boy badly, he wanted to show him affection. And he was irritated with himself for feeling any affection. This was just sex, he tried to convince himself. It could only be just sex. He would keep him around as long as he wanted him, he suddenly decided. He would be in control, he would take whatever he wanted, and now he wanted this boy. To take this boy, here and now.

Kili never felt so wanted in his life. This man was fucking him senselessly, he fucked him so strongly as if this was the only thing that mattered at this moment. As if it didn't matter where they were, or who they were to each other in real life. As if the only thing that mattered was the hot penis penetrating his ass. Kili felt those hands hold him tightly, he saw those deep eyes look into his eyes, it felt like he was being hypnotized. He wanted to kiss him, but he saw the strong glare and he realized it was him dictating everything. He wasn't allowed to kiss, he wasn't allowed to take control. For him it was just sex, Kili suddenly realized, just a way to vent off frustration. He tried to keep his emotions at bay, but what he felt the lust and the press of his warm body was heaven to him. He wanted this man in any way he could get him, and he would take anything given to him, Kili though.

When Fili's hand reached down and gently rubbed his penis, Kili yelped and moved hard against the member penetrating him. Then he felt a wave come over him, and before he could withhold his needs his seed spilt onto the man's hand, and he was rewarded with a smile as the man gently lifted his hand and tasted his seed. Then he felt him press deeper inside and Kili could see those beautiful blue eyes close as the man found his own release inside him. They held each other for a moment longer, but then it was just over. Kili was hoping for at least some acknowledgment, but he got some tissues to wipe himself, and he saw his boss get dressed and leave the office without looking at him for even a split second. Fili just had to run away, he saw disappointment in those brown eyes, not because of the sex but because there was nothing next. He wouldn't kiss him and hold him, Fili firmly assured himself. This was just sex, so he just ignored the needs of this much younger and much less experienced person. Leaving him there was yet another way of showing him his place. Fili didn't want the boy to get any strange ideas, he was just an employee and would remain just an employee.


	4. Chapter 4

Kili came home still not believing what had happened. He had sex with his boss, he had mind blowing sex with the most handsome man he had ever seen. Later in bed he was replaying everything in his head and he was slowly realizing the gravity of what he did.

But the next day was no different than any other day in the office. He would get orders, he would do his job and nothing indicated a change in their relation. For Kili it was huge relief he didn't lose his job.

For Fili going back to the everyday work load was a safe option. He decided not to talk to his assistant about what happened, and he was surprised the boy did not make any move. He heard about the problem of secretaries becoming too intimate and friendly in the office if there was an affair, some probably hoping for a long lasting relationship and marriage. But here this boy was behaving like it was just any other day at the office, the first moment he saw a taint of fear in those brown eyes, but later it was just his normal confidence.

Kili felt completely confused with what happened. His boss treated him the same as before or maybe a bit colder. He would get the same amount of work if not more, with the passing days he would get more responsible tasks and after some time he noticed it was all easy for him. His boss would send him to other departments, to meetings with employees, he would prepare reports and he felt like he was going way beyond any standard assistant duties. What really confused him was his own heart. That one night was like a far away dream, but with every passing day he wanted more. He wanted to be next to him, he wanted to please him. Deep inside he was hoping with the challenging tasks he was doing, that his boss would find him irreplaceable.

xxxxx

"I liked your report on the advertising campaign for Arkenstone Hotels." Thorin told Fili looking carefully at his nephew.

"I didn't write it." Fili told him with a slightly bitter voice.

Thorin raised his eye brows. "Then who did?" He asked in a cold voice.

"My new assistant." Fili confessed, he wanted to laugh at the face his uncle made.

"You're pushing you assistant to do such responsible tasks?" Thorin was clearly surprised.

"He's doing most the reports now, he's also done some meetings in my place." Fili finally confessed.

"So he's been basically doing part of your job." Thorin noticed. "So that's why you had time to prepare the buyout of Miracle Toys."

"Indeed, finally having a useful assistant proves very useful." Fili noticed. "I'll call HR and tell them to give him a pay rise then." Thorin told Fili. "However I'm a bit worried, the people in the office have been gossiping about you."

"Really?" Fili was surprised and a bit worried at the same time.

"They say you're slaving the boy, and you're treating him badly." Thorin noticed coldly.

"I've been putting him to the test, but I wouldn't call that bad treatment." Fili noticed sternly.

"It's not the workload. No one questions that. But even I can see the way you talk to him. Even our cleaners get more recognition than your assistant. You treat him coldly, more than you would treat a stranger. More than I would expect from you. I'm not saying make friends with him if you don't want to. But remember we've got two unions in the company, and we don't need an inspection." Thorin told his nephew.

"I'm just surprised you would worry with such an issue." Fili noticed coldly.

"I'm surprised you haven't noticed your new assistant is the new mascot of the office, and the more they like him, the more visible your coldness will be." Thorin spoke with amusement seeing the shock on Fili's face. It was a rare event to catch him off guard, but the assistant topic seemed to have a deeper meaning and Thorin was stubborn to find out why.

"I don't care." Fili informed him sternly. But Thorin knew him really well, and saw the defiance in his eyes, if Fili said it that it really meant he cared.

"I'm going out for lunch." He decided to inform his nephew. "I have an appointment with Helifax, and it would be best if both you and your assistant, who in fact wrote all the documents, came with me."

"Fine!" Fili replied his voice cold as ice.

"We're leaving in ten minutes." He called his assistant on the intercom. Fili immediately noticed the smirk on his uncle's face.

During the lunch Thorin observed the boy clearly amused. Fili was ignoring him completely, he was chatting with Helifax easily getting the information they needed. The boy was slowly eating his food with the most elaborated table manners possible as if eating in a place like this was nothing out of the ordinary, and Thorin was surprised to say the least. He was very amused seeing the boy glance at the two men talking, his big brown eyes clearly indicating he was taking all the information in. Thorin never knew any assistant who could do the work the boy was actually doing, and he concluded it was sheer intelligence that made the difference. In the way the boy never spoke to Fili unless asked directly, in the way he was withholding from the discussion, Thorin immediately realized this boy was immensely clever. Fili was so tense around the boy, and Thorin could only find two possible explanations, either he didn't trust him, or he was attracted to him.

Coming back to the office Fili was irritated beyond reason. As soon as they came in Mrs. Glover the receptionist asked the boy to help her with her computer, and he just smiled and replied something that made her laugh. Fili felt a strong wave of jealously flow over him. The glares the boy was getting, those women looking at him like he was the most adorable person in the world. They all wanted him, especially those women over forty were giving him shy smiles and delicately flirting. He didn't want anyone looking at him that way. He didn't want anyone to flirt with him. A strong feeling of possession made him remember the one time he felt those gorgeous lip sucked him, when he felt those long legs holding onto him. Since that day he wanted him even more. He wanted to pound into him every day, to push him against the desk or the sofa and just lavish his body. He wasn't going to indulge into these emotions any more. That was the promise me made to himself, to never take that path again. He needed a secretary and this one was proving more than adequate in any professional aspect. He was doing his job perfectly, better than possible for an inexperienced young student. He knew how to write reports, how to prepare minutes, how to manage the office and do many business related things. But no professional achievement could relinquish the fact that he wanted him. He desperately wanted him physically. The more he wanted him the more cold he was. He had to control this lust, this urge to take him again. Seeing the people in the office, especially women, lust for him was a huge pain for Fili. No one could have him except for Fili.


	5. Chapter 5

Kili could immediately sense something was wrong. Fili was cold as ice, and when Mrs. Glover blocked her computer again, his boss's eyes turned dark blue. He knew that face, his boss was clearly irritated, so yet again it was going a long working evening for Kili. He didn't mind that, he would never mind working. But he did feel huge pain thinking back to what happened just a few weeks ago. It seemed like ages passed since they had sex, but in reality it was less than three weeks. He wanted him badly, but what made Kili feel sad was the pain he felt in his heart. He didn't need random mindless sex, he wanted something real, to have someone next to him. He wanted to feel loved. And it was clear as day he would never get that from his boss.

Coming into his office he already saw a list of new duties to fulfill. His boss wasn't in sight, but that didn't mean Kili could just relax. He was always on alert in the office trying not to anger his boss.

Fili was just so surprised with the smile and laugh he saw on Kili's face it made him angry. He had never seen him smile like that before, and the sight caused Fili lots of pain. He had to vent so he went for a long walk, and finally came back almost at closing time.

The boy was still there, typing yet another document on his computer. There was a pile of files all around him, but knowing his work methods those on the right were already finished. And the small pile on the left indicated he was slowly finishing with the workload he got for the day.

The boy was silent and focused, he probably didn't even notice him coming in. "How long until you finish?" He asked the boy and saw him jump a bit.

"Less than an hour." Came a short formal response.

"Send the documents to my computer as soon as you finish." Fili told him coldly trying not to show the emotions filling him.

"Yes sir." The boy replied curtly.

Fili sat there watching the boy do his job. Yet again he wanted to stroke himself watching the boy, but he promised himself never to indulge again into activities like that. He had to remind himself that promise many more times during that hour. The office was practically empty, all the employees going out and rushing to their personal lives. Fili started thinking about his own personal life, he had no personal life. Occasionally he would meet friend from college for a beer or two, but apart from that it was his uncle and endless work. He wondered if this boy had anyone waiting for him at home, but it seemed unlikely. He never protested to overtime, he would stay exactly as long he was needed. Another wave of jealousy swept over him thinking about a possible girl or boy in his life. He wanted him so badly, it was even worse now that he already knew the feel of his body next to his. He felt the tightness of his ass, the touch of his lips. He wanted to taste him more, to take him so many times more.

Kili was done in less than half an hour, then he checked if he did everything, read the documents one last time and sent them. Then he got up and went to ask his boss if there was yet another thing that had to be done on that Friday evening.

"Do you require anything else?" He asked, he wanted to get out of the office as soon as possible.

"No, you may go home." Fili said in a ice cold voice. Kili looked up and saw that very dark glare he already knew from before. His heart leap again, his body immediately felt a need to stay. But he knew this was all wrong, this was not what he needed. He was tempted but it was playing with fire. He had no idea what was the right thing to do, both ways he might risk his job again. So he just looked down and gathered his thoughts, and after a brief moment he retreated to his office.


	6. Chapter 6

Fili wanted the boy so badly, but he could never admit it. He made a promise to himself, but seeing the boy go back into the office to gather his things before going home irritated him. For once he wanted his assistant to take initiative, he was hoping deep inside the boy would react. Even one response would be enough for Fili. One smile would be enough, he realized. He wanted him so desperately, it hurt him so bad to think the boy was just going to leave. He didn't want him to leave.

Fili got up and before the boy could open the glass door to the main corridor, Fili held it closed with his hand. He stood right behind the boy, and he could clearly smell him. The boy didn't react at first, he just stood there silently looking at the closed door. He moved closer and gently breathed in the smell, and it nearly drove him crazy. The boy smelled like oranges with a taint of spice. He gently moved his lips along the neckline and felt a shiver as a response.

Kili breathed in deeply, it seemed this time there was no choice for him to make. He suddenly felt his lips on his neck, then he felt strong arms keep him tight from behind. Then he felt one hand slide under his clothes, and he jumped feeling his hand touch him so intimately. He was leaning into the man holding him from behind. He could feel Fili's erection press into him from behind, and he felt the strength of the man holding him.

"Not here." He finally managed to gasp.

"Fine!" His boss told him.

They went out of the office together, and later into the parking lot. The drive to Fili's place was short, he had a flat nearby for the comfort of not having to drive a long way to work. Kili stood at the doorway not knowing what to do, he was lost in this place. It was way above the standard he was used to, there was a panoramic view of the city, and he could see the office just a short distance away. That place seemed so far away in any aspect. Sex in the office would have been easier, Kili suddenly realized his mistake. Here he had no idea what to expect. Fili immediately noticed the boy become very nervous, but he did not elaborate on it. He closed the door and pressed the boy hard into his body. He saw wide brown eyes showing surprise, hesitation and anxiety. He saw fear in those eyes, and all he wanted was to see him smile. Smile honestly, smile with joy. And then he broke one of his promises, he pressed his lips into the boy's lips and forcefully pushed his tongue into his mouth. The boy responded by pressing into him and holding onto him. Soon their clothes were on the floor, and before Kili could even say or do anything he was on his knees on the floor. His boss didn't do much foreplay, because both of them were steaming with sexual needs, so he grabbed his hips and pushed inside to finally fulfill the needs he was feeling towards this boy. He took him right there on the floor, and he loved every second of it. He loved the gasps he was hearing, the moves the boy was doing. He grabbed the boy's hips and pushed harder feeling his seed fill the willing body under him. He realized bringing this boy here was a huge mistake, at the office he could just walk out, here he had to spend more time with him. After it all, he looked at the boy on the floor under him. Somehow the sight of the boy's ass covered in his seed turned him on again. He could easily fuck him again, just minutes after he finished fucking him. Before the boy could even protest he picked him up and took him into the bedroom. Kili was surprised to say the least, but as he was placed on the bed he felt Fili press him hard into the bed. He was amazed with what was happening, he arched as Fili penetrated him again, and the feel of Fili's hand on his erection drove Kili over the limit. He couldn't remain passive, he couldn't withhold the moans and gasps of pleasure. He held onto him and pulled him lower to kiss him. Fili's eyes showed surprise but he did not protest. He just grinded harder into him. The second orgasm hit them both hard, and Fili could barely hide a smile feeling the boy's cum covering his stomach. They lay like that without a word. Kili had so many mixed emotions in him, he was feeling hope, he was so surprised he wanted to ask why he waited so long to take him again. Soon he dozed off in the comfortable bed feeling the warmth of his lover next to him. Fili noticed the boy fall asleep, it was clear he was tired after their intercourse and especially after a long day at work. He gently reached and moved a tress of hair from the boy's face. He was so cute, he was so sexy. And he should be gone by now. But somehow he did not have the strength in him to actually wake him up and ask him out. That's what he should do, but somehow even to his cold heart it seemed cruel to ask him out after taking him like that.


	7. Chapter 7

Fili awoke feeling a warm body hugging him tightly. He felt a gentle hand in his chest hairs, and the soft breathe of his lover on his neck. He opened his eyes and looked down at his assistant. He had to get rid of him, staying with him like that would give the boy hope for a relationship. Hope was something he was not willing to give him. When the boy awoke Fili could see immense happiness in those beautiful chocolate eyes and a soft smile. But the happiness disappeared as soon as Kili focused on reality and saw the cold glare he was getting. Fili felt a stab of pain, knowing it was his doing that the long awaited smile would disappear in just a second. All those positive warm emotions turned into fear as soon as Kili realized it was him hanging tightly on this boss, and his boss was no longer holding him. He shifted away and took his hands back. He curled on the bed feeling unwelcome. He had to get out but he was all dirty.

"Do you mind if I use the shower?" The boy hesitantly asked.

"No." Fili replied looking at the boy praying he would finally go. He wanted to get rid of the boy before he had another attack of lust. Before he would reach out and take him again. With every second of looking at him in his bed he wanted to press him back into the bed.

The boy slowly got up and headed towards the bathroom. A moment later Fili could hear the shower running, and with all his strength he was fighting not to join him there. A battle he was losing. His erection was already throbbing hard, his head was full of images of the boy under the shower. He got up, but what he saw something he wasn't expecting. The boy wasn't washing, he was sitting on the floor. He was holding his legs with his arms and it was clear as day he was crying. Fili felt a stab to the heart unlike anything before. Suddenly he realized he was the cause of that pain, he was the one who made him unhappy. He could make a choice, either he could try to comfort his lover or he could just leave him there. He got into the shower and before the boy could even notice him, he grabbed him tight and pulled him into his lap. The boy looked at him confused but instead of pulling away he grabbed Fili and hid his head into Fili's neck. Before the boy could say or do anything Fili kissed him deeply. Fili immediately saw the boy's eyes go bright and kiss him shyly back. He felt the boys hands on his body and he felt him gently shift to take him. Fili didn't dare protest, the was thrilled the boy took initiative, and when he was riding Fili it was the best sex Fili had ever experienced. After sex they washed quickly and returned to bed. Fili awoke again after a long time. He was alone for a change. He briefly wondered where his assistant had gone to, but the smell of his delicious coffee clearly indicated where he currently was.

When Fili got into the kitchen he saw his assistant dressed and a appetizing breakfast on the table. Without even saying anything he sat down and immediately a coffee appeared in front of him. He reached to grab his favorite French toast.

"I'm surprised you could make such a breakfast from the content of my kitchen." Fili noticed.

"I would manage to cook dinner out of the content of your kitchen." Kili noticed.

"Whatever." Fili noticed coldly. "Don't get used to this."

"I'm not planning to." The boy was trying to hide his anxiety, anything his boss was saying was living proof he overstayed his welcome.

"Can I return home, or is there anything else you require of me?" The boy suddenly asked not touching the food or coffee.

"You may go home." Fili noticed coldly and just two minutes later he was all alone again. For a brief moment he felt pain at seeing him leave, but he kept telling himself it was better if he left. Fili did not need him. Fili did not want him there. As he was eating the breakfast prepared by his assistant he suddenly felt tears flow down his cheeks. Deep inside he knew he was lying to himself.


	8. Chapter 8

For Kili setting into the routine of work and occasional sex was easy and difficult at the same time. It seemed their affair or whatever anyone would call it, was just rare session of sex from time to time. It would happen in the office, or he would get a message to meet him at his place. The boy felt apprehensive at first, but then he decided to play by ear. He took any affection he would get, he would be happy of any kiss and of any closeness. At the office it was all the same, cold stiff atmosphere, but the general office showed him lots of sympathy and warmness. Even Thorin the CEO showed him lots of appreciation and respect. He got a higher salary every passing month, and he would fulfill any task given to him without question. His heart ached from time to time seeing the coldness, but the heated sessions would keep him warm inside.

Everything changed nearly eight months after their first time together. One day a beautiful model walked into the office, and before Kili could even say anything she went into the office and kissed Fili deeply. Kili watched the man smile at her, and take her hand. Kili's heart sank, but he immediately made sure his eyes didn't show anything. The next weeks were the worst in Kili's life. He didn't need much, but at least those heated sexual session would calm his nerves. Now it was hell, the girl called Gizelle would walk in anytime she wanted. She would sit in Fili's lap, they would practically make out in the office. Kili without blinking would fulfill any order starting from sending flowers to her, to booking restaurants and buying presents. Kili's heart became cold during those weeks, before he was convinced he loved his boss, but now he was empty. He stopped caring. The third month after Gizelle flipped his life upside down, his life did another upside down flip. Bilbo his beloved guardian had a serious car accident. The doctors' said he would be in a pharmacologically induced coma for at least a week and later he would stay in hospital for a long time. The restaurant needed someone to manage it, but the most pressing issue were the custody rights to Frodo and Ori. Bilbo was the best person in the world in Kili's opinion. He continued the family tradition of taking care of people, and that way he became the foster family for Kili, Nori, Dori, Ori and later his nephew Frodo. Nori and Dori were already eighteen and nineteen, but at the moment of the accident Frodo was just fourteen and Ori sixteen. Kili realized it was his duty as the oldest to help his family.

The next day Fili was surprised to see his secretary waiting for him in the office. He felt a brief moment of pain, he still wanted the boy more than any other person in the world, but it was time to cut the bond. Gizelle was a great companion, and thought she could not make him feel anything more than sympathy she was too greedy to pay attention to details like his desirable male secretary in the office. They boy never reacted to her presence, he was as polite as always. Somehow Fili was hoping the boy would react, show some jealousy or sadness, but he was cold as stone. Fili missed those nights they would spend together, he missed the kisses and the sex. He missed those fancy breakfasts and the long working evenings with sex as an ending note. But it was time to move on. It was time to erase all hope the boy might have, to gain some distance.

"Is there a problem?" Fili asked looking at the boy suspiciously.

"I need to take a leave." The boy finally told him.

"Since when and for how long?" Fili asked his voice ice cold.

"Tomorrow, at least three or four weeks." The boy finally replied.

Fili stared at him in shock. "No!" was his only answer.

"Then I'll leave my resignation at HR." Kili replied coldly.

"Fine!" Fili replied. "Who needs you here anyway." He told the boy not caring what kind of message he was sending.

The boy went out with his head down and went straight to the HR department. He informed the HR he would be gone since the next day and he went back into the office to finish any urgent matters.


	9. Chapter 9

Thorin returned two weeks later to find the office in an uproar. Some bits of information have been reaching him in China, but what he found out was shocking at best. The whole office was talking about Fili's assistant resigning from the job, and there was millions of versions why he left the job.

"What did you do?" Thorin asked Fili coming into the office. Fili's desk was covered with papers and Fili was clearly trying to do some complicated paperwork. Mrs. Frigholmm was back in the office.

"About what?" Fili asked still thinking about the report he was working on.

"Your assistant." Thorin pointed out.

"Mrs. Frigholmm is going to train a new assistant starting next Monday." Fili replied coldly.

"Stop pretending to be an idiot. What happened to the previous assistant?" Thorin asked slightly raising his voice.

"He resigned." Fili didn't care to elaborate.

"Why?" Thorin asked curtly.

"I didn't care enough to ask and he didn't feel the need to explain. He wanted an absurdly long leave and heard he wouldn't get it." Fili spat out at Thorin clearly irritated.

"Do you know what the whole company is talking about?" Thorin's voice was very firm.

"Why would I care about some gossip?"Fili noticed coldly.

"I was hoping one day you would understand it, but it seems this one thing is out of your grasp. A company like ours is like family, it has always been like that. You'd better start listening to what I'm saying. I've already warned you about the way you treated that boy." Thorin's voice was ice cold. "He was not only the most polite, helpful person in this branch, he was also the most respected and liked. He got the job here because of a recommendation from my friend from college Balin, and he was probably the most talented person in business here not counting you or me. People were already commenting the way you treated him before, now they are talking about how he had to resign because you did not give him a leave to stay in hospital with his father who is in critical condition after a nearly fatal car accident." Fili's eyes went wide hearing that. "The whole office is talking about how he got custody over two of his younger brothers and lost his job in a critical moment of his life."

"I had no idea..." Fili tried to say something.

"You didn't even bother to ask." Thorin cut the explanation short. "I've never let a person I respect and work with down in the face of such a tragedy. I feel ashamed for what you did. You can just shove your excuses up your ass and get out of my sight." Thorin left the office before he exploded.

Thorin called Balin and tried to talk about the boy, but he only heard they will not talk about him ever again. He said his brother's condition is still bad, and all the stress already had a huge influence on the boy. Thorin said that if anything was needed in terms of health insurance or financial matters to call him, but he could hear firmness in Balin's voice as he replied they would manage just fine. Thorin first time in many years felt he let somebody down and he hated the feeling. He honestly liked the boy, he was cute and extremely smart, he was quietly hoping he would become a key player in the company but it seemed unlikely now.

Fili was in shock for a long time. He never wondered if his assistant had any family. He never thought if his assistant needed this job, and why he would need it. He finally realized he hadn't been thinking straight for a long time. He was rejecting a person he felt deeply for. He was denying the fact he loved the boy. He was hurting him from the first day. He never treated him seriously, he never treated him as a lover deserved to be treated. What he did later, having Gizelle come in almost every day, kissing her in front of him, getting him to buy her gifts and arrange their dates. He longed to see him smile, but instead he was making him sad. He was causing fear and anxiety. Every time they had an intercourse the boy would also show at least a bit of fear. It was all Fili's fault he realized, and now he wouldn't even have a chance to make it up. He could have asked more questions, he could have done many things differently.

He rejected him so brutally, he orchestrated Gizelle and all the pain. He hurt him on purpose. He suddenly realized he never even called him by his name. He would refer to his as his assistant or he would avoid referring to him at all as if he was invisible. The personal file was still on his computer and he opened it again. He briefly glanced at the address, but later dismissed trying to contact him again. Fili screwed up too much to fix what he did.


	10. Chapter 10

Thorin and Fili hadn't see the boy for nearly three more weeks, and the next time they saw him they were surprised to say the least. They had a meeting with some business associates in one of the most expensive restaurants in town called "The Front Porch". It was a beautiful French style restaurant, decorated beautifully and elegantly. It was a popular place but you had to book early, and Thorin had a list of dates when he had a table there. The chef Bombur was famous in town, and despite having many opportunities he stayed in this restaurant because of family ties. His two brothers, Bofur and Bifur worked there as well. The three boys were among the many children taken in by Belladonna Baggins, no one else wanted to take the three of them especially with Bifur being a mute. She treated them as if they were really her children, and soon as they grew old enough to help out they started work in the restaurant. Bombur turned out to be a talented chef, while Bofur was a fantastic front hall manager and Bifur did the accountancy and paperwork. Among the many waiters the two older Luin brothers, Dori and Nori taken in by Bilbo, were working, and both the younger Ori and Frodo were hoping to do the same in the future. Bilbo was a special person, being raised by the eccentric Belladonna he continued the tradition, he took in five boys and gave them a safe home. His favorite was the oldest Kili, an extremely smart boy, and Bilbo was hoping he would eventually take over the restaurant. Even at a young age the boy had talent in the kitchen, but he also was showing signs of being a great manager. But when the boy wanted to get some experience in a different field Bilbo did not dare stop him. Bilbo was worried when the boy was clearly overworked and stressed, but he could not take away the boy's pride of making his own money and being able to pay off the imaginary dept he thought he had. Bilbo never treated it as a dept, Kili was his son in any aspect and he was ready to pay for his studies anyway.

After Bilbo's accident Kili had to step in as the general manager. He knew the job well, after all he started helping out at the age of sixteen. He knew the waiters, the business, the chefs. He knew this job better than anything else in his life.

When he saw Thorin and Fili enter he put on his best professional smile and showed them to the way to their table. He saw surprise on both men's faces but he did not comment or engage into a conversation. The waiter took their orders and they hadn't seen Kili practically until the finished their lunch. As they were going out they saw Kili again and Thorin decisively approached him. Kili motioned them to sit down at a guest sofa in a more private part of the restaurant.

"How's your father doing?" Thorin asked gently.

"He's still in hospital, but the chances are high he will recover." Kili told them slowly in a very serious voice.

"You got a job here?" Thorin asked gently.

"You could say so." Kili replied in his usually curt style.

"Kili!" suddenly a young voice called out. "I've done my homework, can I get started?" A young boy with red haired entered the lounge, he was dressed in a waiter's uniform and he was carrying a notebook and showed it to Kili.

"Get started, but remember not longer than the statutory four hours." Kili informed him dully.

"Whatever you say brother!" The boy replied with a huge smile. "Bofur told me to tell you that Grimes hurt his arm and he's not coming to work tonight!" Kili just sighed deeply hearing that.

"I'll be there in ten." He replied and turned to the two men.

"It's a family business." He told them seeing the curious glare. "Excuse me but I have to step in for the chef, so it's time I get back to work."

"It was nice to see you again." Thorin said.

"Likewise." The boy replied politely but he couldn't wait to run away from them. First time he blessed the chef for not coming that night, at least he would have something to focus on. After leaving the restaurant Fili finally noticed he didn't even use the chance to speak to him, and then he realized the boy didn't even look at him, as if he wasn't there.

Kili felt stressed more than ever, he had the restaurant on his shoulders, he had Ori and Frodo and all school related issues, he had the house and house chores too. He realized Bilbo was doing much more than a normal person could handle, and he realized him changing his job pushed a huge burden onto Bilbo. Kili deeply regretted getting that job and asking Balin for a recommendation. He left Bilbo with lots of duties, and he experienced the best and the most horrible moments of his life. It was a mistake, and being back in the familiar atmosphere in the restaurant was soothing his pain. It was hard to hide, but he changed because of his job at Erebor. He became cold and distant, and the family members were surprised with the change. Kili was trying to hide it but he felt depressed, on one hand he hated his boss and loved him deeply at the same time. That man caused him lots of pain, but Kili felt pain of his broken heart. After a week he realized he couldn't handle all the things he had to, so he pushed all the house duties on Dori and Nori, and asked Balin and Dwalin to keep an eye on Frodo's and Ori's school work. Both men immediately took over driving the boys to school and later would help them with homework. Kili focused on the restaurant, he had to manage the employees and the whole place, it was good he could count on everyone but someone needed to keep an eye on everything.


	11. Chapter 11

Gizelle really began to irritate Fili. She would show up uninvited at the office, she would glue herself to him. She tried to seduce him physically, and tried to move into his flat. Just one month after Kili left the office, Fili told Gizelle it was over. He gave her a goodbye present and heard many bitter words. She tried to call him many more times, she tried to show up at the office or flat, but he firmly told her he wasn't interested any more. Thorin was relieved to have her gone, she was annoying and a typical blond. She said stupid things and made scenes, a real drama queen. Thorin was still cross with Fili, what happened clearly showed Fili was more spoilt than he thought he was. He was deeply disappointed in him, he loved Fili but he failed in raising him properly it seemed. He was deeply worried, especially when he met up with Dwalin and Balin, and both men suggested the boy was deeply depressed after working at his company for less than a year. Both men tried to inquire what actually happened to the boy, and they described him as cheerful person in the past, and Thorin couldn't recognize the person he met in their description. Balin told about the adoption of Kili, and how he came into the family as a hyperactive thirteen year old. Dwalin told Thorin stories as the kid kept getting trouble in school but could always solve the problems with his huge smile and intellect. The person they described was daring, smart, confident and fun loving. The person Thorin met in the office was calm, quiet, serious and shy. Slowly he began to understand why the men were so worried with the changes.

Thorin dully noticed there was only one thing that could cause such a change in a person personality and he immediately thought of some kind of trauma. If he hadn't know Fili he would even consider sexual harassment. Then he focused on the last events, he wasn't sure about anything connected with Fili anymore. Fili acted strangely around the boy, he was cold as ice and rejecting. Thorin at first thought he was attracted to the boy, but later he was unpleasantly surprised he didn't notice any bond or interaction of that kind. On second thought he had doubts, the sexual harassment idea was drilling in his head. It was all adding up, and his irritation with Fili was growing. That was the only logical explanation, and usually the most logical explanation was the truth.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Fili was surprised seeing his uncle at his office just after working hours, when the office was slowly emptying. Thorin told the secretary she was free to go home, so they were alone.

"I think there is something you need to tell me." Thorin spoke in a really cold voice Fili never hear directed towards him.

"I'm not sure what you mean." Fili told his uncle not feeling sure of himself.

"You know exactly what I mean. We need to talk about your previous assistant." Thorin was firm.

"There is nothing to talk about." Fili tried to cut the topic.

"If you get sued for sexual harassment, will we have something to talk about then?" Thorin's voice was strained and cold. He could see Fili go pale.

"So my intuition was right all along." Thorin was dead serious. "We just had one case when you were accused, and a second accusation is going to be catastrophical."

"Consensual sex cannot be called harassment." Fili spoke in a very quiet voice.

"Even if you say it was consensual, it doesn't mean the victim didn't feel obliged or forced." Thorin noticed coldly. "I'm so ashamed of you."

"You're ashamed of me because I'm gay?" Fili asked in a breaking voice.

"No, it's not because you are gay. I can't be mad at you for that because I'm gay myself." Thorin confessed. He could clearly see the surprise in Fili's eyes. "I'm ashamed because of what you did, how you treated the poor boy and what you've done to him."

"How could you imagine a relationship like that? It would ruin us!" Fili spoke strongly.

"Just like any other relationship. It's not that surprising in the modern world. In my case I've never met anyone I could to spend my life with, but I would never reject that person." Thorin looked at Fili, he could clearly see the distress on his face.

Thorin looked and saw a broken Fili. It seemed not only did the assistant get hurt in the whole mess, but also Fili was showing heart break. Thorin was really mad with Fili, he hurt the boy deeply, and looking back at those months Thorin suddenly saw how big a torture it was to the boy. Even if he agreed, even if he was attracted to Fili, the cold treatment, being invisible to Fili would cause huge pain. Then Thorin remembered Gizelle, the way she would walk into the office and glue herself to Fili, he suddenly felt another huge surge of pain, that kind of experience would be dreadful to anyone no matter how experienced and what age.

"You're an idiot. I thought I raised you better." Thorin finally told him. "How could you treat anyone like that? Tell me one thing, was it one event or did it happen many times?"

Fili lowered his head. "Many times." He replied after a moment of hesitation.

"And it never occurred to you that what you were doing was wrong?" Thorin asked seriously.

"I just couldn't stop it, I wanted him so much..." Fili could feel the tears go down his face. "I know I hurt him, but I love him so much that I couldn't stop myself."

"How can you treat that way a person you say you love?" Thorin was irritated. "Balin told me he's completely depressed, he told me that one year here with us was enough to break him. It pissed me off even more when I heard he used to be a cheerful and joyful person but after just a year here his own family has problems recognizing him."

"What are you planning to do now?" Thorin asked after a moment.

"I'm not going to do anything." Fili noticed with tears in his eyes.

"That means you're an even bigger idiot than I thought." Thorin summed up.

"You're going on leave till the end of the month." Thorin informed him. "I can't stand what you've done, and I won't be able to work here with you for now."

"What do you want me to do?" Fili was clearly terrified.

"Think over what's important in your life, and when you come to a logical conclusion come and talk to me." Thorin was really bitter.


	12. Chapter 12

Bilbo was awakened by doctor two weeks after the accident, his family was there with him, so when he opened his eyes in shock to see a hospital bed the boys were there to explain it all to him. He had to be connected to a respirator, his right leg was in plaster, he had three operations because he had internal bleeding. He was in bad condition, but he would recover. Bilbo smiled sadly hearing how Kili reorganized their life, and he just held his hand as Kili told him about resigning from his dream job. Bilbo was worried with Kili's job, so having him at the restaurant to run it was a blessing. Bilbo was never one to complain, but there was a moment he had too much on his head and he had problems admitting to it. He loved the boys and never wanted to worry them, but from a time in his life we had a feeling he needed a change. He always wanted to write a book, his mother would immediately suggest writing a cook book, but Bilbo wanted to write a novel. The stay in hospital was a blessing, he had his laptop with him, Nori or Dori would bring him a tasty lunch every day, and he had lots of time to write. Kili would often come and sit with him and he was the only person Bilbo told about the book. Bilbo saw the change in Kili, and he suspected he knew what was the reason but he was waiting for the boy to speak his mind.

"Bilbo, you're the only person I trust." Kili began one evening when they were finally alone.

"Of course you can trust me, I consider myself more a friend than a father to you." Bilbo admitted. "I was wondering what was bothering you recently. It's about that job isn't it?" And Bilbo saw Kili nod. "Tell me."

"I like being back in the restaurant." Kili told him. "And now I regret taking that job, the restaurant is a place where I feel best. But that job was more challenging and demanding. My boss treated me like a slave, but I didn't mind doing anything he asked me to."

"You feel in love with him?" Bilbo asked gently and he saw tears in the boy's eyes.

"I love him more than anyone else, but he did everything to show me I was unimportant." Kili spoke trying to choke down his tears. "He ignored me, he treated me like dirt, but my heart won't stop feeling pain thinking I'll never be with him again."

"You slept with him?" Bilbo asked holding onto Kili's hand.

"It was crazy, and I loved it, but it always made me feel empty and unwanted. Being with him I felt being used and unloved. When he got a new girlfriend I had to watch them together, I had to buy her presents and do anything he asked me to." Kili confessed.

"My accident came at the right time." Bilbo noticed dully.

"I don't know what to do now, I feel so empty and unhappy I hurt too much for me to bear." Kili told Bilbo fighting with tears.

"I know what you mean." Bilbo slowly told him.

"What do you mean dad?" Kili asked looking at him surprised.

"I know what a broken heart feels like." Bilbo noticed sadly. "And I've never recovered from my unrequited love. I was too young, and he was older and I was invisible to him. I dreamt of him for a long time, but for him I was just a young brat, unworthy of his attention. It hurt me for a long time to want him, and never even have a chance to be with him." Bilbo had tears in his eyes. "It took years to come to terms with it, that he will never be in my life. That's why I took you in, there was something in you that reminded me of him. You have the same wavy hair and same wittiness and intelligence. I loved you from the first day you came to live with me." Bilbo held onto Kili's hand as both of them were crying. "You're going to be fine, we both are. We're a family and we will support each other."

After six weeks at hospital Bilbo was going to be released home, Kili was so happy he immediately got the boys to organize a welcome home party for Bilbo. All their friends and family came so there was quite a guest list and Kili decided to throw the party on Friday just after closing hours. Bombur and Bofur told him they would get the restaurant ready, Nori and Dori were responsible for the decorations, and Bifur sent out messages to all people invited.

Dwalin and Balin after careful consideration decided to take Thorin with them, so when the three of the arrived Kili was really surprised to see his former CEO. But Thorin was nice and he was friendly so Kili just eased a bit and after some time managed to have a emotionless conversation with the man.

Bilbo was surprised when Bifur drove him to the restaurant instead of home, but when he entered and saw the lavish decorations and a huge sign "You're never driving again Bilbo!" he could only laugh. His boys were all there, and his brothers were also there. He loved Balin and Dwalin, he loved and appreciated Bofur, Bifur and Bombur. The saw his old school teacher Gandalf, he saw Elrond and Galadriel and so many other dear friends. Everyone was there for him, and they all were supporting him to come back health. They all helped when Kili needed them, and his family was together and that was true happiness for Bilbo. Then he saw him there, and immediately tears came to his eyes. His brother Bofur thought it was a sign of emotions, but it was different type of emotions. It didn't matter anymore, Bilbo realized, his fascination with this person didn't matter anymore. He had his family with him, no unrequited love from the past could ruin anything in his life. He could still remember when he saw him for the first time, he was barely twelve and Balin was already twenty. Thorin was a friend from college and he came to visit them several times. Bilbo saw him last time at the age of sixteen, his hormones going wild and his heart beating crazily at the sight of this person. It's been twenty years, so he wasn't a hormone driven crazy teenager anymore. When Balin introduced them Bilbo saw clearly Thorin had no memory of him, but Bilbo decided not to dwell on it. He greeted him politely and stumbled in the direction of Kili and Frodo.

Thorin felt a stab of pain seeing the only person he ever lusted for. The little brother of his best friends, but he had to refrain his feelings, lusting for a fourteen year old was not normal by any standard. Now he wasn't a young teenager anymore, he was much older, but no less cuter. Those blond locks were still framing his face, this blue eyes were still as blue as ever. He didn't grow much from the last time he saw him. But what changed was the mature way those eyes were looking at him, and instead of trailing around like a puppy, Bilbo just went the other way to join his two sons. Thorin felt ignored, but the chance his strongest unrequited attraction would remember him was unlikely. Thorin thought he got the silent treatment just like Fili was giving Kili, and he felt a stab of compassion for the boy.


	13. Chapter 13

Three days later Fili showed up at Thorin's office, he was looking worse than ever. Clearly he spent a lot of time crying, thinking and not sleeping. Thorin gestured him to sit down.

"I saw him on Friday. He's doing a bit better." Thorin told him.

"Where did you see him?" Fili asked quietly.

"Balin took me to his brother's welcome home party. Kili was organizing it." Thorin told him. Fili looked at him, still focusing on the name Thorin used. Kili sounded so cute in his ears, that name was so much like him. "Have you thought about what we talked about?"

"Yes, I have." Fili told him slowly. "And I have no idea how to fix what I did wrong." Fili's eyes went wet with tears.

"You screwed up pretty badly, but you can at least try to fix it." Thorin told him gently. "If you really love him, if you try to forget about him you will regret it the rest of your life."

"Have you ever regretted anything like that?" Fili asked trying to stop his tears.

"Yes, once I have. I was in love but I kept finding new reasons why not to approach him, and later I didn't see him anymore. I lost my chance and I regretted it ever since." Thorin told him slowly.

"Why didn't you contact him later? When you knew you regretted it?" Fili asked surprised.

"Easier said than done. I knew his address, I knew his workplace. I knew what college he went to and what he did later. But I couldn't find a credible reason to come up to him, all the ideas in my head seemed illogical and trivial. I was scared he would reject me, I was scared of many things. And because of that I was alone for all those dull lonely years." Thorin confessed.

"So what would you advise?" Fili asked quietly.

"Try to talk with him. Ask him, but not force him." Thorin told him.

"What about you?" Fili asked.

"I'm going to do just the same." Thorin replied with a smirk.

Bilbo was back, so Kili finally had some time for himself. He decided to stay at the restaurant and Bilbo would go back just part time. His part time usually took the form of sitting in the restaurant anyway, but he would stay in the private area working on his laptop. Kili was stubborn not to let him drive, and since everyone came to the restaurant after school or work it was logical to stay there all day anyway. Nearly a week into Bilbo's return Kili got a text message. "I'd like to talk with you." He knew the number by heart. He ignored the message all day, but his phone was burning a hole in his trousers. He kept thinking about the message and about the person who sent it. He loved him deeply, but was hurt by him severely. Just days and weeks ago he thought about it and rejected any idea of meeting him, making a decision to avoid him at all cost. But now when he got a message like that he had a problem replying no. He had a problem focusing on the pain from the past, he wanted to think only about the bad things, but his heart was beating wildly. To the notion of pain, the memories of mind blowing sex were haunting him. He loved and wanted him badly, he kept dreaming about the sex they had and all those delightful memories. He knew this kind of message was calling him back, probably just for more sex and to reject him later. But the sex part was turning him on again, going back for just sex seemed interesting enough to actually consider going back. He got some more distance and stability in the last weeks, maybe he could handle just sex again. Maybe he was really careful he would get some affection without getting hurt anymore. After endless hours of thinking, he finally sent a reply "When? Where?" an decided to take anything given to him.

"My place, whenever you want." He got the reply just several minutes later. Kili looked at the time, it was nearly midnight. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." He replied.


	14. Chapter 14

Fili was surprised to get an answer so late at night, but he would take any chance to see him. The middle of the night was just as good as any time of day. When he heard the doorbell he had no idea what to expect. Opening the door he was anxious to see him, but he saw a very serious Kili not looking fully at him. He stood there at the doorway, not looking up to him or saying anything. Fili reached out and gently lifted his head to force him to look into his eyes. Fili honestly wanted to talk, he really felt he screwed up and needed to explain and beg for forgiveness. But what happened next surprised Fili, before he could say or explain anything he felt strong lips push into his. There was no talking at all, the frantic sexual energy between them reached a peak. It was again the touching, kissing and holding. It was ripping off clothes and demanding more. It was just like in the past, two bodies melting into each other and two souls yearning for tenderness and love, but getting desire and lust instead. It had been months the last time they were together so it was exhilarating to feel being together again.

Kili knew it would happen the moment he agreed to meet with him, so he just met the facts face on. He didn't want to talk, he wanted affection, he wanted closeness and sex. He wanted to feel him next to him, and to feel loved. Every time they had sex he felt loved.

For Fili it was all too fast, he didn't ask him to come and have sex, he really felt the need to talk, but as soon as those lips touched him there was no more words said.

Fili woke up early in the morning alone. Just as if yesterday night did not happen at all. When he got up and put some clothes on he went to the kitchen. There he saw Kili fully dressed and a breakfast on the table. Kili was just standing there and drinking a cup of coffee.

"I think he should talk." Fili told him, but Kili just glared at him.

"Whatever, I got to go to work." Kili told him indifferently.

"We should talk about what happened last night, and about what happened in the past." Fili insisted.

"I don't want to talk about it." Kili told him coldly.

"What happened in the past was a mistake… I…" Fili tried to say something to him.

"Save it. I'm really not interested." Kili told him.

"Will I see you again?" Fili asked feeling he was losing the discussion.

"Maybe." Kili replied curtly. "I might drop by, if I feel like it." Kili replied looking at him in the coldest way he could.

"Can we meet again and really talk?" Fili begged, but he saw Kili's strong eyes look at him.

"Why would you want to meet me and actually talk with me?" Kili's voice was dripping with venom. "No, I'm not going to meet you and talk with you. I might drop by for sex, if I feel like it." Kili grabbed his jacket. "Sorry but I really need to get going." He told him and left him startled at the kitchen table.

Fili felt even worse when Kili left him. He just walked out not giving him a chance to explain anything. He said he would come back if he wanted to have sex, but bluntly rejected any idea of talking. Fili felt rejected, he needed him so badly but what he got was an emotionless meeting. He loved the sex, it was wild because both of them were starved, but he desperately needed to talk. The next days he was waiting for a message, but nothing happened. Nearly a week later he sent a message asking if they could go out but the answer didn't come. Nearly three weeks from their meeting he got a short question "Tonight?" and he could feel his heart jump. Kili came near midnight, but instead of talking to him, he just got the same mind blowing sex. The moment he tried to start a conversation Kili looked away and told him to stop. Fili insisted and began speaking. Kili just got up and dressed. Fili was terrified to see him go, but the moment he tried to stop Kili, the boy gave him a strong glare and said goodbye.


	15. Chapter 15

Fili had to wait nearly five weeks to see him again. Thorin had taken him to the restaurant again, and as soon Balin saw them he pulled them to the private lounge. Eating dinner with so many people around and a cozy atmosphere was very refreshing for both men. Bilbo and Dwalin joined them, along with Ori and Frodo. Soon it turned out it was a dish tasting dinner. Nori was serving different types of dishes and each of them got a sheet to give points. They had a fantastic time, some of the plates were phenomenal. Later they stayed longer and helped counting the score.

As they were slowly finishing Kili came to join them. Fili blinked seeing him, his hair was longer and he was wearing professional chef clothes. Kili didn't even react to his presence there, he greeted Thorin warmly and then asked for the score. Fili felt a huge wave of pain seeing him smile at the result.

"Bombur is still the best!" Bilbo noticed with a smile. "But you got second place." Kili smiled hearing that.

"What about the two chefs we were actually testing?" Dori asked curiously looking at the sheet.

"Average." Bilbo commented. "I think we need to keep searching."

"Don't tell me Kili is going to be working the kitchen full time now?" Thorin asked surprised.

"Of course not, but we need to get a new chef or he'll be working the floor until Bombur comes back from hospital." Bilbo noticed.

"Why is he going to hospital?" Thorin asked.

"He needs a knee operation. And he'll be gone for at least four weeks before he can come back to work." Dwalin explained.

"Bilbo and Kili will be taking turns running the kitchen, until we get a proper replacement." Balin informed them.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow evening?" Bilbo asked Thorin with a shy smile. "We're going to be testing two more chefs tomorrow."

"We do now." Thorin replied with a smile. Balin slowly glanced from Bilbo to Thorin and later to Dwalin and both men shared a half smile.

Everyone at the table failed to notice that two people weren't talking at all. No one noticed that the normally most talkative person was silent.

Kili got up an excused himself, while Dori brought one more bottle of wine and some more food. It seemed the group would stay there longer than he wanted them to stay. Kili desperately tried to think of a way out, but he knew this was going to turn into a long binge session as soon as the others would finish work, and the guests would leave the restaurant. With more people there it would be really difficult for Kili to ignore the one person he desperately wanted to be close to. But he knew his only option was keeping a distance. He had to keep him away emotionally, that was the only person in the world who loved hurting him and Kili would keep that perspective away from himself. Seeing him was painful but not as painful anymore. He wanted him badly, but last time his former boss was stubborn to talk, and Kili was not planning to confess or go back to anything. He wanted to be left alone, the pain was still fresh, but his body was still craving that man.

Fili felt his phone vibrate and he pulled it out, he read a short message "At the entrance, now." He excused himself saying he needed to go to the toilet and he rushed to the meeting Kili set up. Kili was waiting there for him and without a word went into one of the office rooms, and Fili followed.

Kili closed the door and locked it. He looked carefully at the person in front of him surprised his former boss didn't seem as confident as before.

"I hope we could finally talk…" Fili tried yet another time but Kili just kissed him. Fili could feel the boys hands go under his clothes, he felt his body press into him, but he knew if he let it happen again there was no chance for any conversation.

"No, I really want to talk with you." Fili whispered breaking the kiss.

"There is nothing we can talk about." Kili firmly told him.

"We should talk about what happened in the past." Fili insisted, but he saw Kili's face change hearing that. His eyes became stone cold and firm.

"I'm not going to talk about that." Kili's voice was strong and certain.

"Then maybe we should talk about what happened last time we met?" Fili's voice was shaking trying to get anything from his lover.

"We had sex." Kili summed up. "There's nothing more to it, and there never will be." He saw Fili's eyes go darker hearing that.

"You really believe that?" Fili asked in a breaking voice. Kili was surprised with the pain he saw on his face.

"Yes." Kili replied confidently. "There is no coming back to the past. Sex is the only think that can be between us." Fili's heart sank hearing those cold words.

"So it was just sex to you all this time?" Fili asked on the verge of crying.

"The same as it was to you." Kili replied.

"But it isn't like that for me anymore." Fili confessed in a low voice.

"I don't care, as you didn't care then." Kili told him and left the office not looking back.

When he got to the kitchen he helped Bombur clean up, as he was finishing he got a message. "I'll take anything you decide to give me." Kili looked at the message and felt his heart beat wildly. He replied "Tomorrow morning your place." And he returned back to the private lounge with more plates with food. He saw Fili back in his spot next to Thorin, but didn't look at him. He placed the food and sat next to Ori and started to chat with the boy as if nothing happened.


	16. Chapter 16

Early in the morning Fili heard the doorbell. He got up still sleepy and opened the door. He saw Kili stand there with a smile and soon he was pushed into the door. Kili was showing dominance for the first time and Fili was really surprised. It wasn't he didn't like changing roles, it was just surprising to see Kili so decisive. They kissed deeply and Fili let Kili do whatever he felt like doing. In his past intercourses Fili was very versatile so it seemed Kili was the same. This time it was Kili who took control and set the pace, he touched Fili anyway he wanted and he was showing first signs of dominance. He was surprised Fili didn't even protest for the role change but Kili was in nature the more top person than bottom. Their previous relation and the work relation made him shy and unsure, but now he didn't care about anything anymore.

When Fili awoke he heard the shower running, so he decided to join his lover. Kili wasn't at all surprised to see him there, and instead of washing they had one more session of pleasure and fun. They kissed gently and washed. Fili loved the sight of Kili roaming his kitchen. The boy went through the cupboards and out of seemingly impossible ingredients made lunch. Fili just watched him and wanted to start a conversation, but Kili was focused so he decided not to disturb him.

"It's not much but enjoy." Kili told him finishing his masterpiece.

"I'll eat almost anything." Fili replied.

"I won't." Kili curtly replied.

"Can I sit next you tonight?" Fili asked with hope in his voice.

"No." Kili replied. "I'll be cooking." He explained slowly trying the food.

"So what are you cooking tonight?" Fili asked eating his lunch.

"I can't tell you. It's a blind taste test, so I can't tell anyone what I'm cooking." Kili said slowly.

"I like your cooking." Fili said commenting on the lunch.

"If you want to get more, you better stop by the restaurant more often." Kili suddenly offered. Kili knew he could not refuse this man anymore, but at least he could make sure it was on his conditions.

"Would you allow that?" Fili asked hesitantly.

"I proposed it." Kili cut the answer short.

"Will I be able to see you regularly?" Fili asked hesitantly.

"Maybe." Kili replied trying to keep his voice still.

"I'd really like that." Fili's blue eyes were looking at Kili deeply and with hope.

"I better get going, go shopping if you want breakfast tomorrow." Kili replied with a smile and left the flat.

Fili looked at the door analyzing the last words Kili said. And he just smiled and went to the supermarket.

xxxxx

That evening was very busy in the restaurant, Sundays were always the most busy. That day Bofur had a surprise visit from an old friend Beorn, his friend brought in a cute tall red haired girl asking if they were still looking for a chef. Tauriel was really shy and apprehensive, clearly amazed by the restaurant and the formality Bofur always showed to newcomers.

"We're having a taste test today, if you have the time I can get you in the kitchen and give you a try." Bofur proposed, and when the girl nodded with hope in her eyes he led her towards the staff room.

Kili glared at the girl coming into the kitchen, but Bofur told him this was just one more chef for the trail and that they had one more private guest for the testing.

"Choose a work station, and cook three dishes in seven portions. You can take your time to prepare we're sending out dishes in over an hour." Kili informed her coldly. He was bit surprised they would have one more person in the kitchen so preparing and making sure the kitchen was serving their normal clients smoothly was going to be a challenge.

"We haven't had a girl in the kitchen since Ms. Janet retired four years ago!" Bombur was delighted to see the girl, and his comment made her blush. "May the best cook win!" He murmured and turned towards his shrimps.

Tauriel slowly got the rhythm of this kitchen, she knew the fat red haired man was the famous chef Bombur, she was very worried he would be stuck up and starry but he was the kindest person in the world she soon realized. There were many people working, clearly taking current orders and serving standard menu dishes. She noticed both the head chef Bombur and the slim young handsome chef prepare dishes probably for the taste test. Two more men were doing exactly the same but slightly to the back of the restaurant. She glanced at the slim young chef thinking about whether he was also her competition, contrary to the other chef's in the restaurant he had no post written on his jacket. Soon she noticed the close relation between the boy and Bombur, so he might have a head start. She was worried, she only worked for six months in a professional kitchen, before she got a job as a private chef. Now she was again jobless thanks to her own stupid heart. She praised Beorn in her head again, he did not hesitate to help her yet once again, he had been her social worker when she was at foster care, and later he helped her to pursue the career of chef. He took her in when she got fired from her last job, when her employee accused her of seducing his precious son.

Kili observed the girl slowly get into the rhythm of working, and when all the dishes were being served she was working much more efficiently than the two men working at the back, and the last two they tested the previous day.

"What happens now?" She asked him hesitantly.

"Now you go and find out what they think about your food." Bofur smiled to the girl, and took her to the private lounge where Beorn was waiting. She was surprised to see so many people in the room, Beorn introduced her to everyone and someone swiftly got her a chair next to him. She felt out of place, but soon both the handsome young chef and Bombur joined them there. And a short man called Bilbo announced that yet again Bombur won.

"However I'm surprised to say my dear son, this time you didn't get second place." He announced looking at the slim boy. "You and the lovely Tauriel tied!" Kili looked at her with shock in his eyes. "So it seems we finally have a chef!" Boern congratulated her, and they were both invited to stay for the private dinner.

"So we're going to be working together?" She asked the young chef hesitantly as they went back into the kitchen to prepare snacks for the employees and guests in the private lounge.

"It seems so. Actually since you're going to be in the kitchen I'll be stopping by and making sure it goes smoothly." Kili told her.

"You're not a chef?" She asked with surprise.

"No, I'm the manager here." He explained curtly with a smile. "Although I do spend lots of time in the kitchen stepping in if a chef's absent. Can you start work as soon as possible?"

"Yes, whenever I'm needed." She told him hesitantly.

"Well it's not that you need to start work immediately, but Bombur is going to be away, it's his last two working weeks now. So it would be best if you stay here under his care and maybe get into the drill and observe him." He explained to her with a smile. He had a feeling he was going to like this girl, at least she didn't try to flirt with him like most women.

"Why is Bombur leaving?" She asked hesitantly.

"He's not. He needs a knee operation and he's going to be away for two or three months." He explained to her.

"So it's just a temporary job?" She asked sadly.

"Nah don't think of it like that, treat it as a trial contract. If you prove to be worth it, I'll make sure you get a permanent contract." Kili told her and saw her smile with relief.

"Hey lovebirds some people are hungry!" Bofur joked at them, but saw two surprised faces. "Oh me and my big mouth! Don't you dare poison my food kid!" He pointed his finger at Kili.

"Can we get the food?" Tauriel noticed two red hair waiters come in.

"So do all the employees stay this late?" She asked unsure what to do next.

"Nah, just family, but since Beorn brought you in, you fit into the category." Bofur told her with a smile.

"Family?" She asked surprised.

"Well this is a very unconventional patchwork family as you soon will realize." Bofur took the girl by the hand and with courtesy he showed her towards the private room again.

She was surprised with the number of people there, but the homey atmosphere, food and jokes made her feel safe for a change. Only one person wasn't friendly to her, a extremely handsome blond man they all called Fili, she could swear he was jealous anytime she spoke to the friendly young chef.

"So what's your name?" She finally managed to ask him.

"Kili." He introduced himself. "At your service!"

"So can I start tomorrow?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, that would be fine." He told her.


	17. Chapter 17

Kili saw Fili glare at him and the girl, but he ignored it for now. It made him smile that his former boss was showing jealousy. It was like a new wave of emotions come over him, he like the fact that he was jealous.

As they were all leaving the restaurant, he sent a text message "I'll be there in twenty minutes." And he drove Bilbo and the boys back home. Bilbo just blinked when he realized Kili wasn't getting out of the car, and he smiled to him and said "Just don't get into trouble."

Fili was waiting impatiently. The whole evening was a difficult event for him, he wanted to talk with him, he wanted to be next to him. The distance Kili demanded from him was stressful, but the moment he saw the friendly interaction between Kili and the new girl, Fili wanted to openly show his feelings and emotions. He wished he could be officially with Kili, he wanted to spend all his evenings at that blasted restaurant as Kili's boyfriend. When Kili finally arrived, they kissed and held tightly for a while.

"So now do you know what I felt?" Kili asked him gently referring to Gizelle.

"I'm so sorry for what I did." Fili held onto him.

"Just don't do anything like that again." Kili told him.

"Will you ever forgive me?" Fili asked with tears in his eyes.

"If you let me down again, no I won't forgive you." Kili told him with a smile and gently kissed him.

"So does that mean…" Fili's voice broke down.

"Shush no more talking." Kili kissed him deeply demanding to be close. That night was different than their past intercourses. No one was in a hurry, no one wanted to dominate. They both gave pleasure to each other and gently lavished their bodies with hands and lips. When finally Fili feel asleep holding him tightly he felt really happy.


End file.
